I wrote this article for the Newsletter of The Portobello Zen Buddhist Priory, which is in Edinburgh, in April 2008. My theme is about acceptance of things as they are.

  Long before I had any personal experience of Buddhism I read a story of how Milarepa lived for years as a hermit in a cave on a mountain. His only worldly possession was a pottery jug that he used for fetching water from a spring. One day this jug broke and he got on his knees in gratitude to the broken jug for giving him a lesson in impermanence.

   I have always remembered this story- I even have clearly remembered Milarepas name. The story resonates for me

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A few years ago I was doing the washing up when a glass tumbler fell to the floor and smashed. I swept up the pieces of glass and disposed of them.

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Nothing spectacular.... yet I still return to that brief incident and find there is more and more that I can learn from it.

There is a drying rack on the right side of my sink and the glass was on the top shelf of this rack. The glass fell. I observed it falling as though in slow motion... it fell in a slight arc and hit the edge of the draining board and it was at this stage that it broke into several pieces. It then bounced off this edge and fell onto the floor where it shattered into dozens and dozens of tiny pieces which scattered over the lino.

I stared at these little pieces and instantly I saw their beauty. I did not make any 'concious decision' to approach the situation in a positive manner. It was my instant response.... I accepted what had happened. I saw these pieces of glass, each unique and sparkling bringing beauty to the floor of this rather dark corner of my kitchen floor. I saw beauty. I experienced pleasure.

How would my life be if I could instantly respond to what ever occurred in such a positive and joyous way? If I could live my life without all the conditioned responses, the preconceptions, the judgement and the fear? And when I start asking these questions I am aware that once again I am judging myself for not being the way I want to be... rather than accepting who I am and what I am right now.

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A few years ago I was doing the washing up when a glass tumbler fell to the floor and smashed.

I still ponder about that moment. I wrote. 'a glass tumbler fell ' ... as though I had no part to play in what happened as though...... the glass just fell. Although I now have no clear recollection, I am fairly sure I was trying to put yet another object on the top shelf of the drying rack. My hand might have caught the glass and sent it on its way, drawn by gravity, towards the floor.

Was I washing up in a meditative and concious manner? I doubt it. For me washing up is a time to listen to the radio, or to let my mind wander... often I do both. So I listen, I think and I do the washing up... it is a wonder I do not break more things.

I swept up the pieces of glass and disposed of them.

I also find myself pondering about those pieces of glass. I cannot now recall if I gathered them up for the glass recycling bin or if I wrapped them up for the bin men. It is so easy for us to think we can dispose of things, just by putting them out of our sight. Put them in the bin, hide them in the ground, melt them and use them again, switch off the disturbing news items on the television....

If I put them in the bin then those beautiful pieces of glass will be buried somewhere in a old quarry in the Scottish Borders. There to remain in that formfor thousands of year... for who knows how many Kalpas? If I put them in the recycling then they may already be melted and blended in a molten mass of liquid glass and reformed as part of another glass, a bottle, glass fibre insulation.....

Perhaps another glass containing some of this glass will fall to the ground and shatter......

Nothing is lost.

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I usually meditate in the mornings up in my bedroom... a sunny room at the top of the house where I have lots of indoor plants. One morning recently I noticed that one of my cacti was about to flower and decided I would take it downstairs so I could enjoy it in my living room. I placed the cactus pot on the floor by the door, so that I would remember to take it downstairs after meditating. While I was sitting I found my mind was repeatedly returning to planning how I would write this article about the fallen glass for our Priory Newsletter. How would I phrase it? How would I present it? How would I express it?.... My busy busy monkey mind...

After sitting, I blew out the candle and stooped down to pick up the cactus pot. I cannot recall exactly what I did.... but the next thing I saw was the cactus and the pot fall sideways and much of the earth from the pot spill over the carpet. My instant response was anger and frustration.. ... and then I remembered all the mental planning I had only just been doing about my acceptance of that broken glass and I consciously chose let go of my anger and frustration and to laugh!

Julian Goodacre April 2008